Your Inner Child: 7 Hidden Ways it Wrecks Family Harmony and How to Fix it.

15 March 2024
Inner Child wrecks family dynamics

In this comprehensive article, we explore the subtle yet impactful ways your inner child can disrupt the harmony within your family. By providing practical solutions and strategies, we empower you to mend these issues and restore a sense of unity.

How others treat us, is not about them but about how we accept and see ourselves.‘ Yvonne

If we see ourselves as love, then others will treat us with love, but if we find ourselves lacking, and we use statements such as, am not good enough, I can not cope, and I am unlovable, or unworthy, then this will be reflected in our dynamics with those around us whether we know it or not.

What is the inner child?

The inner child is that part in us that influences how we think and how we react to the life around us as adults. In a previous blog article we discussed the influence this plays in our life here: Your Inner Child: Your Guide to Better Relationships and Self-Discovery – My WellBeing Champion.

A secure inner child allows us to embrace our playful side and approach adult life with a sense of curiosity and openness, free from constantly seeing threats and danger. On the other hand, an insecure inner child tends to view the world with suspicion, always on high alert and reluctant to let go of control in fear of what might happen. We often describe this as an inner child that’s “stuck” in the past, unable to trust our intuition or judgment. It’s like letting a child run the household instead of the parents, resulting in chaos as the child lacks the capability to manage the responsibilities effectively.

Apart from the inner child there has been research that shows the there are other dynamics within families that affect how we see our place in the world, and therefore how we show up and form relationships. One of these is birth order dynamics, also known as the first child, middle child and last born child syndrome.

Birth order dynamics within family and the influence in adult relationships

Birth dynamics and our place in family as well as our personality traits, have been studied because similar characteristics have been observed in individuals based on similar family position regardless of race, wealth geographic location and the like.

Family harmony can sometimes feel like a delicate balancing act, with emotions, personalities, and dynamics all at play. But what if I told you that beneath the surface, your inner child might be wreaking havoc in ways you never even realized? Yes, that’s right – that innocent, playful part of you from childhood can sometimes be the culprit behind family discord.

7 Hidden Ways Your Inner Child Wrecks Family Harmony and How to Fix it.

  1. Seeking Validation: Your inner child craves validation, often seeking it from family members in subtle yet impactful ways. This constant need for approval can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment when expectations aren’t met. Instead, focus on validating yourself and finding fulfillment from within.
  2. Fear of Abandonment: Deep-seated fears of abandonment from childhood can resurface in family relationships, causing you to cling to loved ones or push them away out of fear. Recognize these patterns and work on building trust and security within yourself.
  3. Playing the Victim: Your inner child might resort to playing the victim in family conflicts, seeking sympathy or attention to feel validated. Instead of blaming others for your circumstances, take ownership of your actions and strive for open communication and resolution.
  4. Repeating Patterns: Unresolved childhood traumas and patterns can manifest in repetitive behaviours within the family dynamic. Break free from these cycles by addressing past wounds and consciously choosing healthier ways to interact with your loved ones.
  5. Emotional Reactivity: When your inner child is in control, emotional reactions can be intense and disproportionate to the situation at hand. Practice mindfulness and emotional regulation techniques to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
  6. Need for Control: Your inner child may harbour a deep-seated need for control, leading to power struggles and conflicts within the family unit. Learn to relinquish control where necessary and embrace flexibility and compromise.
  7. Insecurity and Jealousy: Feelings of insecurity and jealousy can stem from unmet childhood needs, causing tension and resentment in family relationships. Cultivate self-confidence and trust in your worth, reducing the need for comparison or competition.

By shining a light on these hidden ways your inner child impacts family harmony, you can take proactive steps to heal and strengthen your familial bonds. Through self-awareness, compassion, and a commitment to personal growth, you can create a more harmonious and fulfilling family dynamic for generations to come.

As we wrap up our exploration of the hidden ways your inner child can disrupt family harmony, it’s important to acknowledge the additional layer of birth dynamics that come into play. Whether you’re a firstborn, middle child, or youngest sibling, your inner child experiences and familial roles can influence how these patterns manifest. Firstborns may grapple with perfectionism and responsibility, while middle children might seek attention or feel overlooked. Meanwhile, youngest siblings may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or rebellion. Understanding these dynamics, coupled with insights into your inner child’s behavior, can empower you to navigate family relationships with greater understanding and compassion. By addressing these underlying issues and committing to personal growth, you can foster deeper connections and create a more harmonious family environment for all.

But what if we grew up in a highly narcissistic environment, or we find that we have experienced traumatic circumstances in our relationships that were no fault of our own? In the next blog we shall be exploring how parental influence can affect the inner child and the relationships we form in future.

At the heart of our mission lies the incredible story of Yvonne, our founder.

Yvonne’s journey has been one of resilience and transformation. She knows all too well the pain of relationship struggles and the fear of domestic violence. With her two young children by her side, she bravely broke free from heartache and hurt, in relationships determined to build a brighter future to help her boys break the generational pain.

Driven by a deep desire to understand and heal, Yvonne embarked on a journey of self-discovery. Through her own growth and learning, she emerged stronger and more empowered than ever before.

Today, Yvonne leads our charity with warmth and compassion, offering support and guidance to women facing similar challenges. Her story is a powerful reminder of the strength that lies within each of us.

If you’re ready to take the next step in your own journey of empowerment, we invite you to book a 30-minute strategy call with us. Let’s explore how we can help you thrive with intention and create the life you deserve.

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Karibu (Welcome) to Your Wellbeing Concierge

 I’m Yvonne, and I’m on a mission to empower souls like you to thrive with intention, self-awareness, and prosperity. From my journey as an immigrant to a thriving entrepreneur, I’ve learned that with the right support, you can achieve your dreams. My journey has not been an easy one, from leaving an abusive marriage and raising two boys in a country far from home, to a thriving professional career, being awarded a UK grant to look into systemic issues facing education, and now running a thriving business, Yvonne knows what it takes. Join Yvonne and our vibrant community as we explore the path to personal growth and intentional living. Let’s start your transformative journey. Click to learn more about our story and how we can support you on your quest for prosperity and self-awareness. Twende pamoja (Let’s go together) on this remarkable adventure!