Self Sabotage: 7 Reasons You are Miserable at Work

22 March 2024
Self Sabotage: 7 Reasons You are Miserable at Work

Self Sabotage at Work, why It has nothing to do with you and how you can fix it (Quitting is not the only solution).

Suffering from Monday Blues? Self Sabotage: 7 Reasons You are Miserable at Work

Are you caught in a cycle of workplace misery, feeling like you’re constantly drowning under the weight of unfulfilling jobs? It may seem like you keep encountering the same toxic work environments with different faces in charge. But fear not, the key to breaking free from this self-sabotage lies within your grasp. Discover how you can transform your work experience and create a productive, positive atmosphere that allows you to thrive. Quitting may not be the only solution after all.

Overcoming Self Sabotage: Transforming Workplace Misery

I remember my first job right out of teacher training, I absolutely could not stand my Head of Department, he seemed to have it in for me. I could never get anything right and the more I tried to ignore or look past what he was doing, the worse it got. It got so bad, that one day I found myself in the head teacher’s office crying my eyes out. Luckily I had the world’s most understanding head teacher, she just listened, never said anything and offered to help me in anyway she could.

In this week’s blog, we’re diving deep into the murky waters of workplace misery and uncovering the hidden reasons behind it. Spoiler alert: It’s not all about you! We shall explore How you are Self Sabotaging and Explore the 7 Reasons You are Miserable at Work.

We will begin our exploration with how our inner child plays a starring role in our workplace drama.

From childhood wounds to adult frustrations, let us unpack the seven common reasons you might be feeling miserable at work. But fear not, because we’re not just here to commiserate. We’ll also equip you with actionable tips to reclaim your workplace happiness and thrive, without resignation letters.

Let us begin by looking at the Inner Child – who is the inner child?

In a previous article we looked at the inner child and how she or he get’s stuck. The inner child is a part of us, and especially in sensitive children, where, when they encounter a certain situation at a young age, usually between the ages of 7-13 years (it could be a a bit younger or older either end), the inner child makes a ‘vow’. In future when they have a specific thought around certain circumstances, the same or similar emotions come up with the child and they react in a specific way, you can read more here: How to identify Sabotage by Your Inner Child in Your Relationship – My WellBeing Champion

There are certain work attitudes and behaviours which unknowingly hold us back from achieving what we would like. These mean we do not progress to where we would like to be, and this then can create, unwittingly, either a victim mentality or a blame culture. This is due to Self Sabotage and we shall discuss the 7 Reasons You are Miserable at Work

Did you know that when the inner child is stuck, due to the vow he or she made in the past, then usually he or she tends to be on high alert. This means we may not go for certain jobs or positions which would suit us, or at work we may have an opportunity to advance but not take it, the inner child whispers, ‘I am not good enough.’ Or we may avoid certain gatherings, or courses as we might say we do not want to mingle with certain people – secretly thinking we might get ‘found out’ – in this case the inner child is saying I am not worthy. Or we might think the new job will be overwhelming or might have too much responsibility – in other words the inner child is thinking – ‘ I can’t cope’.

When the inner child is in charge, it can manifest in various ways that disrupt our work lives. You might find yourself procrastinating, running late, or engaging in unnecessary conflicts.

Ever had that sinking feeling that your boss dislikes you or that your colleagues are out to get you? While there may indeed be difficult personalities in the workplace, operating from our highest selves can shield us from their negativity and even repel them altogether. Stay tuned for a deeper dive into the law of attraction and the power of our inner being in future blogs.

Now Back to the Inner Child at work:

In the hustle and bustle of our professional lives, it’s not uncommon to find ourselves caught in the web of workplace troubles, you might be struggling to find meaning, fulfillment, and happiness in your daily grind. But what if I told you that the root of your misery often lies deeper than the surface-level frustrations we encounter?

Let we embark on a journey to uncover the seven common challenges that may be silently sabotaging your workplace satisfaction. From deep-seated insecurities to unresolved childhood wounds, these underlying issues can cast a shadow over our professional lives, leaving us feeling disheartened, disillusioned, and drained.

Awareness is the first step towards transformation. By shedding light on these challenges, we can begin to unravel their hold on us and pave the way for a brighter, more fulfilling future in the workplace.

So, grab your inner compass and let’s embark on this voyage of self-discovery, as we navigate the turbulent waters of workplace misery and chart a course towards a brighter tomorrow.

7 Reasons You are Miserable at Work and how we Self Sabotage:

  1. Procrastination Paralysis: Do you find yourself constantly putting off tasks until the last minute, or perhaps avoiding them altogether? Procrastination can be a sign of underlying fears or insecurities holding you back from taking action – the inner child saying, I am not good enough, what if they do not like my work or I cannot cope.
  2. Chronic Lateness: Are you consistently running behind schedule, arriving late to meetings or deadlines? Chronic lateness can signal a lack of respect for others’ time or a deeper reluctance to engage fully in your work – the inner child saying, I cannot cope, or I do not want to be there I am unlovable.
  3. Conflict Magnetism: Do you frequently find yourself embroiled in workplace conflicts or misunderstandings? Constantly picking fights or seeking out confrontation may be a subconscious way of deflecting attention from your own insecurities – the inner child saying I am not lovable, and it is better I pick a fight which means, I choose when to leave.
  4. Feedback Fog: How do you react to feedback or criticism from colleagues or supervisors? Misinterpreting constructive feedback as personal attacks or becoming defensive can hinder your growth and development in the workplace – the inner child saying I am not worthy or I am unlovable.
  5. Perfectionism Prison: Are you constantly striving for perfection in your work, to the point where it becomes paralysing? Perfectionism can lead to unrealistic expectations, fear of failure, and ultimately, stagnation in your career progression – the inner child saying, I am not good enough, or I cannot cope or until it is perfect I shall not be loved.
  6. Isolation Instinct: Do you find yourself avoiding social interactions or opportunities to collaborate with others? Choosing to work in isolation may be a subconscious attempt to protect yourself from potential criticism or rejection – the inner child saying I am not good enough, I am not lovable.
  7. Blame Game: Are you quick to assign blame to others or external factors when things go wrong? Refusing to take responsibility for your actions can create a toxic work environment and hinder your ability to learn and grow from mistakes – the inner child saying I am not good enough or I am not worthy.

Embracing Inner Healing: Transforming Workplace Challenges into Opportunities

Now that we’ve explored the ways in which our inner child can unknowingly lead us into self-sabotage at work, it’s time to embark on a journey of inner healing and transformation. By addressing the root causes of our behaviours and embracing healing practices, we can break free from the cycle of negativity and create a more fulfilling and harmonious work experience.

Join us as we delve into practical solutions rooted in healing the inner child, empowering you to navigate workplace challenges with resilience, confidence, and authenticity.

Self-Compassion Practice: Cultivate self-compassion by acknowledging and accepting your flaws and imperfections. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend facing similar challenges.

Inner Child Dialogue: Engage in inner child dialogue to understand the root causes of your procrastination or avoidance behaviours. Offer reassurance and encouragement to your inner child, addressing any fears or insecurities that may be driving your actions.

Boundary Setting: Establish healthy boundaries in the workplace to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Learn to say no to unrealistic demands or unnecessary conflicts, and prioritize tasks that align with your values and goals.

Emotional Regulation Techniques: Practice emotional regulation techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or visualisation to manage stress and anxiety in high-pressure situations. By staying grounded and centred, you can respond to feedback or criticism with clarity and composure.

Perfectionism Awareness: Challenge perfectionistic tendencies by embracing the concept of “good enough” rather than striving for flawless outcomes. Focus on progress over perfection and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.

Connection Cultivation: Foster meaningful connections with colleagues and co-workers by actively participating in team activities, seeking out mentorship opportunities, and collaborating on projects. Building a supportive network can help combat feelings of isolation and promote a sense of belonging in the workplace.

Accountability Ownership: Take ownership of your actions and decisions in the workplace, holding yourself accountable for both successes and setbacks. Practice self-reflection and learn from mistakes without resorting to blame or self-criticism.

Practical solutions to support our inner child in each of the scenarios above.

By nurturing our inner child, we can cultivate a more fulfilling work experience and unlock our fullest potential in our professional life.

  1. Procrastination Paralysis: If you catch yourself repeatedly delaying tasks or avoiding them altogether, it might be your inner child whispering, “I’m not good enough,” or “What if they don’t like my work?” Listen to your intuition and inner being to understand these fears and insecurities, and take small steps to overcome them. Break tasks into manageable chunks, set realistic deadlines, and acknowledge your achievements along the way.
  2. Chronic Lateness: Consistently running behind schedule could stem from a deeper reluctance to engage fully in your work or a feeling of unlovability. Tune into your inner being to uncover these underlying issues and address them with compassion. Practice time management techniques, such as setting alarms or creating daily schedules, to honour both your time and others’.
  3. Conflict Magnetism: Finding yourself in frequent workplace conflicts may be a subconscious way of deflecting attention from your own insecurities. Recognise when your inner child is seeking validation or protection through confrontation, and instead, nurture your inner being’s desire for harmony and cooperation. Practice active listening, empathy, and assertive communication to resolve conflicts peacefully.
  4. Feedback Fog: How you react to feedback or criticism can reveal underlying beliefs about your worthiness or lovability. Rather than interpreting constructive feedback as personal attacks, approach it with curiosity and openness. Trust your inner being to guide you in separating constructive criticism from destructive self-doubt, and view feedback as an opportunity for growth and learning.
  5. Perfectionism Prison: Striving for perfection may stem from a fear of failure or a belief that your worthiness hinges on flawless performance. Listen to your inner being’s wisdom to challenge these limiting beliefs and embrace imperfection as a natural part of the learning process. Practice self-compassion, set realistic goals, and celebrate progress over perfection.
  6. Isolation Instinct: Avoiding social interactions or collaboration opportunities may be a defence mechanism against potential criticism or rejection. Tune into your inner being’s desire for connection and belonging, and challenge the belief that you must go it alone to avoid disappointment. Seek support from colleagues, participate in team activities, and foster meaningful relationships in the workplace.
  7. Blame Game: Assigning blame to others or external factors when things go wrong can create a toxic work environment and hinder personal growth. Instead of deflecting responsibility, listen to your inner being’s guidance to take ownership of your actions and outcomes. Cultivate a growth mindset, learn from mistakes, and focus on solutions rather than placing blame.

By tuning into your inner being and intuition, you can identify and address these self-sabotaging patterns, ultimately creating a more fulfilling and harmonious work experience. Trust yourself, take proactive steps towards healing your inner child, and embrace the power of your inner being to thrive in your career journey.

After enduring five challenging experiences with difficult bosses, workplace bullying, and a constant struggle to progress, which lasted the better part of 10 years, I finally uncovered the secret to finding joy in my work. Recognising my independence, I chose a career path in long-term supply work, where I flourished in an environment conducive to exploring my entrepreneurial spirit. Serendipitously, I found a supportive and nurturing boss who not only embraced my strengths but also helped me navigate my weaknesses. As this al came together, I began to align with my inner being and mend my relationship with myself and my loved ones, ultimately paving the way for my journey towards entrepreneurship and personal fulfilment.

So, before you draft that resignation email, take a moment to consider the deeper reasons behind your work woes. Armed with self-awareness and practical tools, you have the power to transform your workplace experience from miserable to meaningful. It’s time to reclaim your joy at work and thrive like never before!

Ready to banish those work woes for good? Dive into our past blogs on the inner child for more insights and join our community of empowered professionals on the journey to workplace happiness. Remember, quitting isn’t the only solution – it’s just the beginning of a new chapter.

At the heart of our mission lies the incredible story of Yvonne, our founder.

Yvonne’s journey has been one of resilience and transformation. She knows all too well the pain of relationship struggles and the fear of domestic violence. With her two young children by her side, she bravely broke free from heartache and hurt, in relationships determined to build a brighter future to help her boys break the generational pain.

Driven by a deep desire to understand and heal, Yvonne embarked on a journey of self-discovery. Through her own growth and learning, she emerged stronger and more empowered than ever before.

Today, Yvonne leads our charity with warmth and compassion, offering support and guidance to women facing similar challenges. Her story is a powerful reminder of the strength that lies within each of us.

If you’re ready to take the next step in your own journey of empowerment, we invite you to book a 30-minute strategy call with us. Let’s explore how we can help you thrive with intention and create the life you deserve.

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Karibu (Welcome) to Your Wellbeing Concierge

 I’m Yvonne, and I’m on a mission to empower souls like you to thrive with intention, self-awareness, and prosperity. From my journey as an immigrant to a thriving entrepreneur, I’ve learned that with the right support, you can achieve your dreams. My journey has not been an easy one, from leaving an abusive marriage and raising two boys in a country far from home, to a thriving professional career, being awarded a UK grant to look into systemic issues facing education, and now running a thriving business, Yvonne knows what it takes. Join Yvonne and our vibrant community as we explore the path to personal growth and intentional living. Let’s start your transformative journey. Click to learn more about our story and how we can support you on your quest for prosperity and self-awareness. Twende pamoja (Let’s go together) on this remarkable adventure!